Berthe: She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee; her dress has got a tear

Sophia: She waltzes on her way to mass and whistles on the stairs

Berthe: And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair

Catherine: I've even heard her singing in the abbey

Agatha: She's always late for chapel

Sophia: But her penitence is real

Berthe: She's always late for everything!

Catherine: Except for every meal

Berthe: I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel

All four: Maria's not an asset to the abbey

Margaretta: I'd like to say a word in her behalf

R. Mother: Then say it Sister Margaretta

Margaretta: Maria makes me laugh!

R. Mother: How do you solve a problem like Maria

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down

Margaretta: How do you find the word that means Maria

Catherine: A flibbertigibbet

Sophia: A willow the wisp

Berthe: A clown

R. Mother: Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

Berthe: But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say

R. Mother: How do you keep a wave upon the sand

Margaretta: How do you solve a problem like Maria

R. Mother: How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand

Sophia: When I'm with her I'm confused, out of focus and bemused,

and I never know exactly where I am...

Agatha: Unpredictable as weather

Catherine: She is flightly as a feather

Margaretta: She's a darling

Berthe: She's a demon

Margaretta: She's a lamb

Sophia: She'd out pester any pest; drive a hornet from it's nest

Agatha: She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl

Margaretta: She is gentle; she is wild

Catherine: She's a riddle; she's a child

Berthe: She's a headache

Margaretta: She's an angel

R. Mother: She's a girl...

All: How do you solve a problem like Maria

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down

How do you find the word that means Maria

Catherine: A flibbertigibbet

Margaretta & Sophia: A willow the wisp

Berthe: A clown

All: Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

R. Mother: But how do you make her stay

Berthe: And listen to all you say

Margaretta: How do you keep a wave upon the sand

All: Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria...

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand