Released on "Spot The Pigeon E.P.", 1977.





There's the Reds and there's the Greens

Super slicks and has beens,

They're accompanied by three men dressed in black,

One's a whistle, two are flags, and quite often they're the drags

Kick the ball into the goal, they put it back.



Yes Match of the Day's

The only way, to spend your Saturday



Each side's eleven men, with numbers on their backs

But at a distance they all tend to look the same

But some own their boutiques, well they clean up every week

Inciting riots, causing chaos, such a shame!



But Match of the Day's

The only way

We spend our Saturday



And that's not all, our mates the keepers

Slippin' and sliding in the mud

Arms as long as creepers



Send him off Ref' ***!!++??

Where are your specs Ref' +++***!!!

Kick you to death Ref' !!XX**??

Oi! Are you deaf Ref' X*+X*!!?



There's a few things before we go

That I think you ought to know

Obstruction, Body Checking, heavy tackles

So put on your hat and scarf

Have a drink, have a larf'

From the terrace you can see your men do battle



Yes Match of the Day's

The only way

You can spend your Saturday



Don't forget, the trainers with their sponges

Managers with open cheques, liquid business lunches



Send 'im off Ref' ***!!++??

Where are your specs Ref' !***&&&!!!

Kick you to death Ref' !!XX**??

Oi! Are you deaf Ref' X&+X&+!!?



...Phfff! Good game 'ey, Ron?...

...D'you see that goal in the Second Half? oh!...

...Bit of a dirty tackle that, mate!...

...I reckon I should've had a bet on it myself!...

...We paid 400, 000 pound for him, you realise that?...

...Oh - look out, here comes a bottle ...

...Yes, fancy a pint then? My round...