- Elton John/Bernie Taupin/Davey Johnstone



Yell help, too many cooks and a bird in the bush, yell help

Yell help, if your mirror busts and your cat gets cussed, yell help

'Cause down the road you find someone else who's looking

Down the road you find another sweet lady cooking

So I gotta yell help



Yell help, some shelter from the storm like the travel agent warned

Yell help, if you can help your superstitions they gonna keep you warm

'Cause down the road you find someone else who's looking

Down the road you seen another sweet lady cooking

So I gotta yell help



I wish tonight wasn't Wednesday night

I wish it wasn't the thirteenth of July, yell help

And you're looking at the guy whose eyes can't deny

That he wishes he were somewhere else tonight



Well I met this woman down in New Orleans

Lord she built just like a dream

Even wore stockings that had seams

And she was ugly



Now hell I don't mind women of her kind

I'll even pay sometimes for a woman that's ugly



She built like a steamroller

Just the kind to mow you over anytime

Hey the moment might arrive



On bourbon street

Well the ugliest woman you'll ever meet

But she's mine all mine and she's ugly



So I better yell help

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