Uncle Larry's hooked on ice again

He seems to be stuck in the 80's

He wears his "members only" jacket

'Cause he thinks it turns on all the ladies

And all the white folks shake their asses

Looking for the two and four

I'll have mine in Martini glasses

'Cause I can't take it anymore

These are the days of empty kitchens

The rise and fall of Mary Ellen's hairdo

I think she's found a new religion

Studying the Kabalah in her J. Crew

And all the rich kids shake their asses

Looking for the two and four

Well, I'll have mine with Blackstrap molasses

'Cause I can't taste it anymore

No, 'cause I can't taste it anymore

My friend Gregg says it's all good

As the eastern seaboard's blown away

Now everything is going half-price

So look at all the money we saved

And all the politicians shake their asses

Looking for the back door

I'll just be hanging out with the lasses

'Cause they don't like the boys no more

No, and I can't take it anymore