(HeatonRotheray)

They say always use a condom, I say always use a whip

They say be careful where you come at night, I just shoot straight from the hip

When it comes to loves great fountain, I won't just take a sip

I'll swallow and I'll gulp until the fountain makes me sick



So it's me left with the baby and disease

You can't say you didn't want it on your hands and on your knees

You made me feel so special

Well you were especially good

I'm sorry that you misunderstood



These neatly folded corduroys hide rubber underneath

But the only rubber you have worn is that useless rubber sheath

I won't have what I've got for you stolen by no thief

'Cause the safest sex I've ever had was hanging from a tree



So you've left me for another pretty face

That's not true I left you for one half the human race

Now I'm by myself

A woman who knows her place

It's not so much the chase, it's the race



They say treat her like a lady and she'll treat you like her jewels

They say cruel to be kind, I just say cruel to be cruel

They say only marry once, I say only marry fools

They wouldn't have made the cane if you weren't meant to break the rules



Have you told them that you'll hurt them then be gone?

I've told them that I'll hurt them if that really turns them on

You left a bitter scar

I tied those ropes too tight!

I'll tie them loose for you tonight



When I told you that I loved you

I meant mini-correct

When I said I'd never leave you

I meant mini-correct

A ring around your finger, a chain around your neck

That was major correct