oh mothers teach your sons how to cook and how to clean

in the arts of housework educate them

or else your sons poor wives will curse you all their lives

as they labour to housebreak and domesticate them



pass on to them the ancient art of dusting

show them theres no shame in scrubbing floors

and teach their poor dim eyes to see what we see without trying

spots on glass and fingerprints on doors



so mothers teach your sons how to cook and how to clean

in the arts of housework educate them

or else your sons poor wives will curse you all their lives

as they labour to housebreak and domesticate them



and give them Joy of Cooking for their birthdays

encourage them to make the meals for you

but dont forget to teach them how to clean up as theyre going

so your kitchen doesnt end looking like World War Two



oh mothers teach your sons how to cook and how to clean

in the arts of housework educate them

or else your sons poor wives will curse you all their lives

as they labour to housebreak and domesticate them



oh mop and broom and a dustpan

sure look good on a man



teach them when they clean to clean behind things

its a concept that they surely will resist

behind the couch, behind the fridge and, yes, behind the toilet

these are places men dont even know exist



so mothers teach your sons how to cook and how to clean

in the arts of housework educate them

or else your sons poor wives will curse you all their lives

as they labour to housebreak and domesticate them



oh mop and broom and a dustpan

sure look good on a man

I said mop and broom and a dustpan

sure look good on a man