As I was walking, lonely, down the street

Suspicious of people I will never meet

I came to a little cafe run by pete

Thought I'd go right inside and get something to eat



Now I regret as I

Sit on the toilet

My arse was sore

As I started running for the door



It's coming out like gravy

As I fill up the toilet

This mouldy cheese sandwich

Has given me the shits



The chef was dirty; he had food in his beard

And the food that I ate tasted unnervingly weird

But I thought nothing of it as I gulped down my beer

Though I glanced at the toilet, to check it was near



My arse explodes

I paint the wall

Klingons galore

And the crap begins to fall



It's coming out like gravy

As I fill up the toilet

This mouldy cheese sandwich

Has given me the shits