They call me Mr. Carbohydrate

It's the only thing I can digest

Xenophobia or general disinterest

I must catch up with all this stuff



They call me a boring fuckhead

They say I might as well work in a bank

I tell them I wish I was, they tell me that I'm sick in the head

They say that I'm sick in the head



They call me Mr. Carbohydrate

They call me Mr. Inadequate

They call me Mr. Paranoia

They call me Mr. Hypochondria



Have you heard of Matthew Maynard

He's my favourite cricketer

I would rather watch him play than pick up my guitar

Than play with my guitar



People tell me I should get out more

But the TV is my best friend

Cynicism is the only thing that keeps me sane

The only thing that keeps me sane



They call me Mr. Carbohydrate

They call me Mr. Inadequate

They call me Mr. Paranoia

They call me Mr. Hypochondria



Sometimes I just stay in bed

And think about the day

When I can retire, forgetting everything

I'll forget everything

Forget everything

Forever but not today

When I cannot, cannot say

No more yesterdays

No more yesterdays