You who speak to me across the fence

Of common sense

How your tomato plant will win a prize,

won't that be nice,

And by the way, how's your wife?

Your holidays were spent in Spain

You went by train

You'll go again



Have you seen me bullfight poster on the wall?

Do you know the appy memory it recalls?

Here's a photograph of me and my son, Ted

That's me cousin with his hanky on his head!

We booked in at our otel just after two

And met a family from Bradford that we knew



Oooh, a melody! Burp!



My pink half of the drainpipe

Separates next door from me

My pink half of the drainpipe

Oh, Mama!

Belongs to me



Rodney's vain saxaphone solo, as promised



My pink half of the drainpipe

Semi-detach-ed, ah!

My pink half of the drainpipe

Oh, Mama!

Belongs to moi



I have a sister in Toronto who's a nurse

And I've had a bit of bother laying turf

It's life, not books, that taught me all I've learned

Woop, in the b'oven my rice pudding's getting burned!

Ere, have you seen the new attachment on me drill?

I must have the cat put down, cause he's ill



Hey, neighbour!



My pink half of the drainpipe

I may paint it blue

My pink half of the drainpipe

Keeps me safe from

you!



I'm a wobbly jelly, you're a pink blancmange

I'm a sherry trifle, you're a chocolate sponge

Your dad wears a paper hat, mine inflates balloons

Whoops! Boodly boop! Pop! Here comes a spoon!



My pink half of the drainpipe

Separates me from the incredibly fascinating story of your life and

every day to day event in all it's minute and