In life one has to face a huge assortment

Of nauseating fads and good advice

There's health and fitness, diet and deportment

And other pointless forms of sacrifice



Conversation, wit, I am a doubter

Manners, charm, they're no way to impress

So forget the inner me, observe the outer

I am what I wear and how I dress



Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere

Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere

Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh

Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere

Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere

Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh



Now I believe in looking like my time on earth is cooking

Whether polka-dotted stripes or even checks

With some glamour guaranteeing every fiber of my being

Is displayed to quite remarkable effects

From your cradle via trousseau to your death bed you're on view so

Never compromise accept no substitute

I would rather wear a barrel than conservative apparel

A dress has always been my strongest suit



Staying in or hitting townwards, from the top and working downwards

I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time

Whether wig or hat or turban, whether clad boudoir or urban

Not to strut your stuff outrageously's a crime

And the few who are invited to my wardrobe are delighted

As they wander through my things to find en route

That in negligee or formal I am anything but normal

A dress has always been my strongest suit



Now you don't need a recital of the reasons why its vital

That tonight I simply have to look my best

That from coronet to sandal no one else is worth a candle

That I couldn't make more impact if I'm dressed

So bring me out my finest, most audacious, my divinest

Most revealing, most expensive and to boot

Most arresting, most heart-stopping, most free-flowing, most eye-popping

A dress has always been my strongest suit