Kind ladies and good gentlemen

You've thrown your dollar down

Walk in and please experience

Feel free to stroll around

We take it to the limit

The competition's fierce

Big Judy at the table here

Will help you with your pierce



Chorus:

And when it's done,

Jack will show you to the door––

Or have you seen this before?

Or have you seen this before?







We've got everything in bottles

Stored in formaldehyde

For a dollar you can climb on that guy

Take him for a ride

Now do you want a leash,

Or a collar, or a whip?

And have you tasted this?

Well, everybody's had a sip





Chorus repeat





Now there's a man

He's hangin' from a hook

The lady with tattoos just looks like

A coloring book

Our club is like no other

We've got a big surprise

Tonight a man will bake a dog

And put it in a pie

And when the pie is open

The dog begins to sing

And Judy will administer

That party favor thing

Now everything is hot

And everything is fine

We never close the place

Because the cops are now in line





Chorus repeat