dogs are barking, birds are chirping

the only thing better if I was squirting

but there's no one here to love on me today

for the maiden's on holiday

for the maiden's on holiday



I'm a sorry, sorry knight in a horrible castle

hoping to avoid certain societal hassles

and I know what they say

but I ain't made of clay

for the maiden's on holiday

yeah, the maiden's on holiday



I ain't nothing but chivalrous

ain't never been nothing nasty between us

she knows where she stands

on the heart of a broken man



I'm gonna be bad no matter what

so I might as well go on ahead

and act like a butt

any ol' way, yeah, I'm still gonna pay

for the maiden's on holiday

yeah, the maiden's on holiday