1. I WAKE UP TO A NIGHTMARE

HIS ARMPITS IN MY FACE

IT'S MAKING GASTRIC NOISES

AND STINKING UP THE PLACE

HIS TEETH ARE IN THE COFFEE CUP

ON THE NIGHT STAND BY MY BED

THERE'S A SMELLY OLD GYM SOCK

ON THE PILLOW BY MY HEAD

A HOLEY PAIR OF UNDERWEAR

IS HANGING ON THE DOOR

A PEPPERONI PIZZA IS LYING

FACE DOWN ON THE FLOOR

I PUT MY FEET AGAINST HIS BACK

AND GIVE A MIGHTY KICK

HE CRAWLS OVER TO THE BATHROOM

AND HE'S IN THERE GETTING SICK

CHORUS:

THERE'S A NIGHTMARE IN MY BATHROOM

AND ITS SUCH A SCARY SIGHT

THERE'S A NIGHTMARE IN MY BATHROOM

AND ITS SUCH A SCARY SIGHT

THIS CREATURE'S NOT THE SAME GUY

WHO TOOK ME HOME LAST NIGHT



2. HE STUMBLES FROM THE BATHROOM

WITH HIS FINGER UP HIS NOSE

IT'S SHOVED UP TO THE KNUCKLE

I WONDER WHERE IT GOES

I GOTTA GET HIM OUTTA HERE

BEFORE ITS LIGHT OUTSIDE

CAUSE IF THE NEIGHBORS SAW HIM

I’D CONSIDER SUICIDE

I SUDDENLY REMEMBER

IT WASN'T AT THE BAR

I MET HIM DOWN ON THIRD STREET

HE WAS BARKING AT THE CARS

I GRAB A DRIED UP SOUP BONE

FROM THE DOG DISH ON THE FLOOR

HE GOES RUNNING OUT TO FETCH IT

AS I FLING IT OUT THE DOOR



(REPEAT CHORUS)