And I grew up on alcoholic evenings and slow jazz music to keep my heart beating because after all that happens in a dissolving family the need for a song to sing me to sleep still rings true and I always knew that there wasn't glue strong enough to sew these roots together and now that I've wasted too many years and I've lost track of where I started I have to dream at night of who I was and why after twenty years of marriage I am what is left and I'd like to go back now and make myself up because I'd be a brick so I wouldn't feel and I'd lift myself up and I'd throw myself at this house to break windows and smash walls just to keep time where it was and where it should be