New Chum Crutcher

(Brian O'Keefe)



There's a story that I have to tell

And I'll tell it straight to you.

Though you may not believe me,

Every painful word is true.

I'd have a go at any job

For my name is Anton Teese,

But the work I did at ''Homelands''

Fair brought me to my knees.



Oh, I'll never be a ringer

Though rings around me lie,

I'll just be a new chum crutcher, lads,

Until the day I die.



Doug Treasure was the Boss's name

From down old Stratford way;

He said I could earn quick money

With work that was child's play.

''Come around tomorrow,'' he said,

With a twinkle in his eyes,

''You can crutch a mob or two for me

And discourage the damn blowflies.''



Well, I turned up that morning

And begged the frightened sheep

To come and lay down quietly

At my quaking feet.

But for all the good it did me

I may as well've begged the gaffer

For a bottle of Johnny Walker

And a billy of tobaccer.



Well, I shore the crawling maggots

And I cut the bloody sheep

While the dags were slowly piling up

Around my aching feet.

With sweaty blades I desexed the ewes

And terrified rams alike,

While the condemned were cringing in their pens

And shitting themselves in fright.



I could imagine the ringers blowing

Their trumpets loud and hard

While I stared in desolation

Out across the woolly yards;

They'd tell of mighty shearers,

Jackie Howe and Roaring Dunn

Who could shear two dozen cobblers

While I was crutching one.



Oh, it's times like these I wonder

From my soul in abject pity.

What madness brought me to this place

And took me from the city;

But I pray that when the gaffer dies

He ends up down in Hell

Crutching politicians

Until the truth they tell





GLOSSARY:



billy: billy can, used for boiling water for tea

cobblers: sheep that are tough and hard to shear

crutching: to cut away the wool around the sheep's backside to discourage

blowflies

dags: bits of muck that cling to wool around the backside

new chum: a new arrival to an occupation; usually derogatory

ringer: the best shearer in the shed

rings: arseholes



@Australia @sheep @animal @work

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