A lady that I know just came from Columbia

She smiled because I did not understand

Then she held out some marijuani ha-ha

She said it was the best in all the land

And I said:



No no no no, I don't smoke it no more

I'm tired of waking up on the floor

No, thank you, please,

It only makes me sneeze

And then it makes it hard to find the door



A woman that I know just came from Majorca Spain

She smiled because I did not understand

Then she held out a 10 pound bag of Cocaine

She said it was the best in all the land

And I said:



No no no no, I don't sniff it no more

I'm tired of waking up on the floor

No, thank you, please,

It only makes me sneeze

And then it makes it hard to find the door



A man I know just came from Nashville Tennessee oh

He smiled because I did not understand

Then he held out some moonshine whiskey oh-ho

He said it was the best in all the land

And I said:



No no no no, I don't drink it no more

I'm tired of wakin' up on the floor

No, thank you, please,

It only makes me sneeze

And then it makes it hard to find the door