Did you learn your lines today

well there is no rehearsal

The tickets have all been sold

For tomorrow's matinee.



There's a telegram [from the writer?],

But there is no rehearsal.

The electrician has been told

To make the spotlights brighter.



And there's one seat in the circle,

Five hundred million in the stalls.

Simply everyone will be there,

But the safety curtain falls

When the bomb that's in the dressing room

Blows the windows from their frames.

And the prompter in his corner

Is sorry that he came.



There was one seat in the circle,

Five hundred million in the stalls.

Simply everyone will be there,

But the safety curtain falls

When the bomb that's in the dressing room

Blows the windows from their frames.

And the prompter in his corner

Is sorry that he came.



When the bomb that's in the dressing room

Blows the windows from their frames.

And the prompter in his corner

Is sorry that he came.



Did you learn your lines today?

Well, there is no rehearsal.

The interval will last until

The ice cream lady melts away.



The twelve piece orchestra are here,

But there is no rehearsal.

The first violinist [hands a shield?],

He's gone deaf in both ears.



Well the scenery is colorful,

But the paint is so damn thin.

You see the wall behind is crumbling,

And the stage door is ripped in.



But the audience keep arriving

'Till they're standing in the wings,

And we take the final curtain call,

And the ceiling crashes in.