Full color cover shot

Self magazine

where the limos go

people start to scream

shiny women on a yacht

these are things I ain't got



None of the above



Top ten well dressed men

every hair in place

author, skier, millionaire

epitome of taste

always willing, always hot,

all these things I am not



None of the above



I wish I was invisible,

intelligent or pretty

but I'm none of the above