Worthy

you think you're not worthy

i'd have to say i agree

i'm not worthy of you

you're not worthy of me

which of us is deserving

look at the human race

the whole planet at arm's length

and we don't deserve this place



what good is a poker face

when you've got an open hand

i was supposed to be cool about this

yeah

i remember

cool was the plan

tried to keep it all under wraps

but the wraps kept going slack

i keep turning round

i keep coming back



give me your vertical

your horizontal line

i want to take each of them

bend them to fit mine

the world is too good for me

i am such a naughty girl

but when we're together

we're too good for this world



you think you're not worthy

i'd have to say i agree

i'm not worthy of you

you're not worthy of me

i'm not worthy of you

you aren't worthy of me...



Tiptoe

tiptoeing through the used condoms

strewn on the piers

off the west side highway

sunset behind the skyline of jersey

walking towards the water

with a fetus holding court in my gut

my body highjacked

my tits swollen

i'm sore

the river has more colors at sunset than my sock drawer ever dreamed of

i could wake up screaming sometimes

but i don't

i could step off the end of this pier

but i've got shit to do

and i've an appointment on tuesday

to shed uninvited blood and tissue

i'll miss you i say to the river

to the water

to the son or

daughter i thought better of

i could fall in love with jersey at sunset

but i leave

the view

to the rats

and tiptoe back



Cradle And All

fourteenth street and the garbage swirls like a cyclone

three o'clock in the afternoon and i am going home

f train is full of high school students

so much shouting

so much laughter

last night's underwear in my back pocket

sure sign of the morning after



take me home

take me home and leave me there

think i'm going to cry, i don't know why

think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby

feel free to listen

feel free to stare



i live in new york new york the city that never shuts up

in the daylight everything is so gory

you can hear snatches of stranger's sorry stories

and i moved there from buffalo but that's nothing

the trico plant moved to mexico

left my uncle standing out in the cold

said there's your last paycheck have fun growing old



take me home

take me home and leave me there

think i'm going to cry, i don't know why

think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby

feel free to listen

feel free to stare

rockabye baby

in the treetop

when the wind blows

cradle will rock

when the bough breaks

the cradle will fall

down will come baby

cradle and all



youth is beauty

money is beauty

hell, beauty is beauty sometimes

it's the luck of the draw

it's the natural law

it's a joke

it's a crime

i was bored

you were bored

it was a meeting of the minds

now it's three in the afternoon and i can't leave too soon

saying thank you, i had a nice time



take me home

take me home and leave me there

think i'm going to cry, i don't know why

think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby

feel free to listen

feel free to stare



maybe i'll live my whole life

just getting by

maybe i'll be discovered

maybe i'll be colonized

you could try to train me like a pet

you could try to teach me to behave

but i'll tell you, if i haven't learned it yet

you know,

i ain't gonna sit, i ain't gonna stay



take me home

take me home and leave me there

think i'm going to cry, i don't know why

think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby

feel free to listen

feel free to stare



Shy

the heat is so great

it plays tricks with the eye

it turns the road to water

and then from water to sky

and there's a crack in the concrete floor

and it starts at the sink

there's a bathroom in a gas station

and i've locked myself in it to think



and back in the city

the sun bakes the trash on the curb

the men are pissing in doorways

and the rats run in herds

i've got a dream of your face

that scares me awake

i put too much on my table

and now i got too much a stake



and i might let you off easy

yeah i might lead you on

i might wait for you to look for me

and then i might be gone

where i come from and where i'm going

and i'm lost in between

i might go up to that phone booth

and leave a veiled invitation on you machine



and you'll stop me, won't you

if you've heard this one before

the one where i surprise you

by showing up at your front door

saying 'let's not ask what's next,

or how, or why'

i am leaving in the morning

so let's not be shy



the door opens, the room winces

the housekeeper comes in without a warning

and i squint at the muscular motel lady

says 'hey good morning'

and she jumps, her keys jingle

and she leaves as quick as she came in

and i roll over and taste the pillow with my grin

well, the sheets are twisted and tangled

and the heat is so great

and i swear i can feel the mattress

sinking underneath your weight

oh sleep is like a fever

and i'm glad when it ends

and the road flows like a river

and pulls me around every bend





and you'll stop me, won't you...



the heat is so great

it plays tricks with the eye

it turns road to water

and water to sky

and there's a crack in the concrete floor

and it starts at the sink

there's a bathroom in a gas station

and i've locked myself

in it to think



and you'll stop me, won't you...



Sorry I Am





i'm sorry i didn't sound more excited on the phone

i'm sorry that after all these years

i've left you feeling unrequited and alone, brought you to tears

i guess i never loved you quite as well as the way you loved me

i guess i'll never really be able to tell you how sorry

i am



and i don't know what it is about you

i just know it's not what it was

i don't know why red fades before blue it just does

and i don't know what it is about me

that i just can't keep still

i keep thinking someday i will make this all up to you

and maybe someday i will



i guess i never loved you quite as well

as the way you loved me

i guess i'll never really be able to tell you how sorry

i am

sorry i am

sorry i am

sorry i am



Light Of Some Kind

i wish i didn't have this nervous laugh

i wish i didn't say half the stuff i say

i wish i could just learn to cover my tracks

i guess i'm not concerned about getting away



'cause every time i try to hold my tongue

it slips like a fish from a line

they say if you want to play

you should learn how to play dumb

i guess i can't bring myself to waste your time



'cause we both know what i've been doing

i've been intentionally bad at lying

you're the only boy i ever let see through me

and i hope you believe me when i say i'm trying

and i hope i never improve my game

yeah i'd rather have these things weighing on my mind

and at the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame

there must be a light of some kind

there must be a light of some kind



i must have blown a fuse or something

cause it was so dark in my mind

she came up to me with the sweetest face

and she was holding a light of some kind

and i still think of you as my boyfriend

i don't think this is the end of the world

but i think maybe you should follow my example

and go meet yourself a really nice girl



'cause we both know. . .



in the end the world comes down to just a few people

but for you it comes down to one

but no one ever asked me if i thought i could be

everything to someone

there's a crowd of people harbored in every person

there are so many roles that we play

and you've decided to love me for eternity

i'm still deciding who i want to be today



cause we both know. . .



Not A Pretty Girl

i am not a pretty girl

that is not what i do

i ain't no damsel in distress

and i don't need to be rescued

so put me down punk

maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair

isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere



i am not an angry girl

but it seems like i've got everyone fooled

every time i say something they find hard to hear

they chalk it up to my anger

and never to their own fear

and imagine you're a girl

just trying to finally come clean

knowing full well they'd prefer you

were dirty and smiling



and i am sorry

i am not a maiden fair

and i am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere



and generally my generation

wouldn't be caught dead working for the man

and generally i agree with them

trouble is you gotta have yourself an alternate plan

and i have earned my disillusionment

i have been working all of my life

and i am a patriot

i have been fighting the good fight

and what if there are no damsels in distress

what if i knew that and i called your bluff?

don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down

whether or not you ever show up



i am not a pretty girl

i don't want to be a pretty girl

no i want to be more than a pretty girl



The Millions You Never Made

the air comes off the ocean

the city smells fishy

the air is full of fish and mystery

whispering who, what, when

i am warning you i am weightless

and the wind is always shifting

so don't hang anything on me

if you ever want to see it again

i am telling you i'm different than you

think i am



and you can dangle your carrot



but i ain't gonna reach for it

cuz i need both my hands

to play my guitar

and life is a sleazy stranger

who looks vaguely familiar

flirting with a bimbo named disaster

at the end of the bar

and i am telling you that i am different

than you are



at night when you're asleep

self hatred's going to creep in

and try to blame it on the devil

the one who's bed you sleep in

and don't tell me what they did to you

as though you had no choice

tell me, isn't that your picture?

isn't that your voice?

if you don't live what you sing about

your mirror is going to find out

oh yeah



i'd like to go to all the pretty parties

where all the pretty people go

and i ain't really all that pretty

but nobody will know

cuz everybody loves you

when you're a star

and nobody questions

what it takes to go that far

and life is a sleazy stranger

and this is his favorite bar



no i don't prefer obscurity

but i'm an idealistic girl

and i wouldn't work for you

no matter what you paid

and i may not be able

to change the whole fucking world

but i could be the million

that you never made

oh yeah



i could be the million that you never made

i could be the million that you'll never make

you're looking at the million that you'll never make



Hour Follows Hour

hour follows hour

like water follows water

everything is governed by the rule

of one thing leads to another

you can't really place blame

cuz blame is much to messy

some was bound to get on you

while you were trying to put it on me

and don't fool yourself

into thinking things are simple

nobody's lying still the stories don't line up

why do you try to hold on

to what you'll never get a hold on

you wouldn't try to put the ocean

in a paper cup

cuz i have had something to prove

as long as i know there's something

that needs improvement

and you know that every time i move

i make a woman's movement

and first you decide

what you've gotta do

then you go out and do it

and maybe the most we can do

then you go out and do it

and maybe the most we can do

is just to see each other through it

hour follows hour like water in a river

and from one to the next

we don't know what each hour will deliver

we just call it like we see it

call it out loud as we can

and then afterwards we call it all water over the dam

maybe the moral higher ground

ain't as high as it seems

maybe we are both good people

done some bad things

i just hope it was okay

i know it wasn't perfect

i hope in the end we can laugh

and say it was all worth it

cuz i have had something to prove

as long as i know something

that needs improvement

and you know that everytime i move

i make a woman's movement

and first you decide what you've gotta do

then you go out and do it

and maybe the most that we can do

is just to see each other through it

we make our own gravity to give weight to things

then things fall and they break and gravity sings

we can only hold so much is what i figure

try and keep our eye on the big picture

picture keeps getting bigger

and too much is how i love you

but too well is how i know you

and i've got nothing to prove this time

just something to show you

i guess i just wanted you to see

that it was all worth it to me



32 Flavors

squint your eyes and look closer

i'm not between you and your ambition

i am a poster girl with no poster

i am thirty-two flavors and then some

and i'm beyond your peripheral vision

so you might want to turn your head

cause someday you're going to get hungry

and eat most of the words you just said



both my parents taught me about good will

and i have done well by their names

just the kindness i've lavished on strangers

is more than i can explain

still there's many who've turned out their porch lights

just so i would think they were not home

and hid in the dark of their windows

till i'd passed and left them alone



and god help you if you are an ugly girl

course too pretty is also your doom

cause everyone harbors a secret hatred

for the prettiest girl in the room

and god help you if you are a phoenix

and you dare to rise up from the ash

a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy

while you are just flying past



i'm not trying to give my life meaning

by demeaning you

and i would like to state for the record

i did everything that i could do

i'm not saying that i'm a saint

i just don't want to live that way

no, i will never be a saint

but i will always say



squint your eyes and look closer

i'm not between you and your ambition

i am a poster girl with no poster

i am thirty-two flavors and then some

and i'm beyond your peripheral vision

so you might want to turn your head

cause someday you might find you're starving

and eating all of the words you said



Asking Too Much

i want somebody who sees the pointlessness

and still keeps their purpose in mind

i want somebody who has a tortured soul

some of the time

i want somebody who will either put out for me

or put me out of misery

or maybe just put it all to words

and make me say, you know

i never heard it put that way

make me say, what did you just say?



i want somebody who can hold my interest

hold it and never let it fall

someone who can flatten me with a kiss

that hits like a fist

or a sentence, that stops me like a brick wall

if you hear me talking

listen to what i'm not saying

if you hear me playing guitar

listen to what i'm not playing

and don't ask me to put words

to all the silences i wrote

don't ask me to put words

to all the spaces between notes

in fact if you have to ask, forget it

do and you'll regret it

i'm tired of being the interesting one

i'm tired of having fun for two



just lay yourself on the line

and i might lay myself down by you

but don't sit behind your eyes

and wait for me to surprise you

i want somebody who can make me

scream until it's funny

give me a run for my money

i want someone who can

twist me up in knots

tell me, for the woman who has everything

what have you got?

i want someone who's not afraid of me

or anyone else

in other words i want someone

who's not afraid of themself



do you think i'm asking too much?



This Bouquet

got a garden of songs where i grow all my thoughts

wish i could harvest one or two for some small talk

i'm always starving for words when you're around

nothing on my tongue so much in my ground



half the time i got my gaze trained on your motel door

fourth door from the end

rest of the time my gaze lays like a stain on the carpeted floor

if it weren't for my brain i'd go over and make friends

too bad about my brain 'cause i'd like to make friends.



see the little song bird unable to make a sound

even though she follows her words from town to town

we both have gardens of songs and maybe its okay

that i am speechless because i picked you this bouquet.



Crime For Crime

the big day has come

the bell is sounding

i run my hands through my hair one last time

outside the prison walls

the town is gathering

people are trading crime for crime



everyone needs to see the prisoner

they need to make it even easier

they see me as a symbol, and not a human being

that way they can kill me

say it's not murder, it's a metaphor

we are killing off our own failure

and starting clean



standing in the gallows

everyone turned my way

i hear a voice ask me

if i've got any last words to say

and i'm looking out over the field of familiar eyes

somewhere in a woman's arms a baby cries



i think guilt and innocence

they are a matter of degree

what might be justice to you

might not be justice to me

i went to far, i'm sorry

i guess now i'm going home

so let any amongst you cast the first stone

now we've got all these complicated machines

so no one person ever has to have blood on their hands

we've got complex organizations

and if everyone just does their job

no one person has to understand



you might be the wrong color

you might be too poor

justice isn't something just anyone can afford

you might not pull the trigger

you might be out in the car

and you might get a lethal injection

'cause we take a metaphor that far



the big day has come

the bell is sounding

i run my hands through my hair one last time

outside the prison walls

the town has gathered

people are trading crime for crime

people are trading crime for crime

people are still trading crime for crime



Coming Up

our father who art in a penthouse

sits in his 37th floor suite

and swivels to gaze down

at the city he made me in

he allows me to stand and

solicit graffiti until

he needs the land i stand on

i in my darkened threshold

am pawing through my pockets

the receipts, the bus schedules

the matchbook phone numbers

the urgent napkin poems

all of which laundering has rendered

pulpy and strange

loose change and a key

ask me

go ahead, ask me if i care

i got the answer here

i wrote it down somewhere

i just gotta find it

i just gotta find it



somebody and their spray paint got too close

somebody came on too heavy

now look at me made ugly

by the drooling letters

i was better off alone

ain't that the way it is

they don't know the first thing

but you don't know that

until they take the first swing

my fingers are red and swollen from the cold

i'm getting bold in my old age

so go ahead, try the door

it doesn't matter anymore

i know the weakhearted are strongwilled

and we are being kept alive

until we're killed

he's up there the ice

is clinking in his glass

he sends me little pieces of paper

i don't ask

i just empty my pockets and wait

it's not fate

it's just circumstance

i don't fool myself with romance

i just live

phone number to phone number

dusting them against my thighs

in the warmth of my pockets

which whisper history incessantly

asking me

where were you



i lower my eyes

wishing i could cry more

and care less,

yes it's true,

i was trying to love someone again,

i was caught caring,

bearing weight



but i love this city, this state

this country is too large

and whoever's in charge up there

had better take the elevator down

and put more than change in our cup

or else we

are coming

up