My Girl's got a really big forehead

My girl's only got four toes

She knows I'm as good as she'll get

She always knows

My girl's got a shiny tuxedo

She frowns every time I smile

She knows that she'll always be there though

She always knows

(chorus)

She's got a motor car

She knows it can go fast

It drives remote control

She's too slow

My friends say she's got a great hairpiece

He says she's a waste of time

She says that her name is Clarice

I don't mind

(chorus)

My girl says that I should get out more

I spend too much time alone

I've marred her precious ego

Half of which is silicone

(chorus)

My life's got a bad sense of humour

My girl's got a mouth full of teeth

She smiles every time I go near her

My name is Keith

My name is Keith

My name is Keith

My name is Keith