It was a dusty old night and I'm the first to admit it
I'm sure I upset someone but my memory has chosen to omit it
A tiny voice telling me I really should cool it
Chewing my face off talking absolute rubbish
The first line hit me like a kick in the face
I thought "I'd better have another one just in case"
Next thing I knew, my heart was under attack
I bought a one way ticket to hell...and back

One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell...

I've always tried to keep my vices under wraps
But a coach-load of mutes would appear talkative chaps
If they had seen fit to join me for a couple of hits
Now my septum is in tatters and I've still got the runs
Burned for a moment, then it kicked like a mule
The strangers I recruited thought it was rocket fuel
Several massive choking lines of glorious gack
I bought a one way ticket to hell...and back

One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell...

Stick it up your f***ing nose!

Holding court, repeating myself, each repetition slightly louder
Pausing just long enough to snort the white powder
The wheels came off but I'm still on track
I bought a one way ticket to hell...and back

One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell...
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell...