They say to have her hair done, Liz flies all the way to France

And Jackie´s seen in a Discoteque doin´ a brand new dance

And the White House social season should be glitterin´ in gay



But here in Topeka the rain is a fallin´

The faucet is a drippin´ and the kids are a bawlin´

One of ´em a toddlin´ and one is a crawlin´

And one´s on the way



I´m glad Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact

And Debbie´s out in Vegas workin´ up a brand new act

While the t.v.´s showin´ newly weds, a real fun game to play



But here in Topeka, the screen door´s a bangin´

The coffee´s boilin´ over and the wash needs a hangin´

One wants a cookie and one wants a changin´

And one´s on the way



Now what was I doin´? Jimmy get away from there

Darn, there goes the phone



Hello honey, what´s that you say?

You´re bringin´ a few old buddies home?

You´re callin´ from a bar?

Get away from there! No, not you honey

I was talkin´ to the baby

Wait a minute, honey, the door bell

Honey, could you stop at the market and...hello?, hello?

Well, I´ll be...



The girls in New York City, they all march for women´s lib

And better homes and garden shows, the modern way to live

And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today



Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzin´

The dog is a barkin´ and the floor needs a scrubbin´

One needs a spankin´ and one needs a huggin´

Lord, one´s on the way



Oh gee, I hope it ain´t twins, again