CHAIRMAN



(spoken) Ladies and gentlemen, brethren and sinners all! I call upon our Goddess of the Virtues to

give us her well

known rendition of the old school song -- Oom-Pah-Pah!



NANCY



(spoken) All right, shut up, you lot! A bit of culture now! 'Ere we go...



(sung) There's a little ditty

They're singing in the city

Espeshly when they've been

On the gin

Or the beer

If you've got the patience,

Your own imaginations

Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear...



ALL



Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!

That's how it goes,

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!

Ev'ryone knows.



NANCY



They all suppose what they want to suppose

When they hear...oom-pah-pah!!



Mister Percy Snodgrass

Would often have the odd glass --

But never when he thought anybody could see.

Secretly he'd buy it,

And drink it on the quiet,

And dream he was an Earl

Wiv a girl on each knee!



CUSTOMERS AND NANCY



Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!

That's how it goes.

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!

Ev'ryone knows...



NANCY



What is the cause of his red shiny nose?

Could it be...oom-pah-pah!?



Pretty little Sally

Goes walking down the alley,

Displays her pretty ankles to all of the men.

They could see her garters,

But not for free-and-gratis--

An inch or two, and then she knows

When to say when!



ALL



Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!

That's how it goes.

Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah!

Ev'ryone knows...



NANCY



Whether it's hidden, or whether it shows --

It's the same...oom-pah-pah!

Sh