Betty Comden and Adolph Green

music by Leonard Bernstein



LOOK AT ME NOW,

FOUR YEARS OF COLLEGE,

FAMOUS PROFESSORS

TUTORING ME;



SCHOLARSHIP KID,

EVERYTHING PAID FOR,

FOOD AND VACATIONS,

ALL OF IT FREE.



DAY THAT I LEFT,

EVERYONE GATHERED,

THEIR CHEERING STILL RINGS IN MY EARS . . .



RAY WRECK RAH!

RAH WRECK RAY!

RAH WRECK!

WRECK RAH!

RAH WRECK WRECK!

W-E-C, R-E-K, R-E-Q,

WRECK, WE LOVE YOU!



CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL

LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!



COULDNT SPELL A LICK,

COULDNT DO ARITHMETIC;

ONE AND ONE MADE THREE,

THOUGHT THAT DOG WAS C-A-T,



BUT I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL

LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.



COULDNT WRITE MY NAME,

COULDNT TRANSLATE JE VOUS AIME,

NEVER LEARNED TO READ

MOTHER GOOSE OR ANDR GIDE,



BUT I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL

LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.



COULDNT FIGURE RIDDLES,

PUZZLES MADE ME POUT:



WHERE THE HELL WAS MOSES WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT?

I COULDNT EVEN TELL RED FROM GREEN,

GET THOSE VERBS THROUGH MY BEAN,

BUT I WAS BUDDIES WITH THE DEAN

LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.



PASSED WITHOUT A FUSS

ENGLISH LIT AND CALCULUS.

NEVER HAD TO CRAM,

EVEN PASSED THE BAR EXAM,



BECAUSE I PASSED THAT FOOTBALL

LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.



COULDNT DANCE FOR BEANS,

MASHED MY GIRLS TO SMITHEREENS.

SOMETIMES BLOOD WAS SPILLED,

STILL MY CARD WAS ALWAYS FILLED,



CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL

LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.





THEN THERE WAS THE WEEK

ALBERT EINSTEIN CAME TO SPEAK:

RELATIVITY!

GUESS WHO INTRODUCED HIM? ME!



CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL

LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.



HAD NO TABLE MANNERS,

USED TA DUNK MY ROLL,

ALWAYS DRUNK THE WATER FROM THE FINGERBOWL.

THOUGH I WOULD NOT GET UP FOR ANY SHE,

THE PREXYS MOM -- AGE NINETY-THREE --

GOT UP AND GAVE HER SEAT TO ME,

LIKE NOTHIN YOU DID EVER SEE.



IN OUR HALL OF FAME,

THERES A STATUE WITH MY NAME.

THERE WE STAND, BY HECK,

LINCOLN, WASHINGTON AND WRECK.

CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL

LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!