(Campbell, Hornosky, Santoriello)

Oh, Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart

Oh, Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart

I wanna tell ya that I love ya, I guess I knew it from the start

I'm talking 'bout Miss Crabtree, let me tell you sir

False teeth, wooden leg, and a mean temperature

Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart

I wanna tell ya that I love ya, I guess I knew it from the start

Farina never seen ya, Weezer couldn't please ya

Call me Chubby-Ubbsy and you'll be my only teacher

Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart

I wanna tell ya that I love ya, I guess I knew it from the start

My heart is filled with joy, I wanna trip and dance

My heart is filled with joy, I wanna rip my pants

Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart

I wanna tell ya that I love ya, I guess I knew it from the start

Oh, Miss Crabtree, Oh, Miss Crabtree

Oh, Miss Crabtree, Oh, Miss Crabtree

Oh, Miss Crabtree, there's something heavy on my heart