Now, if I was a bricklayer,

I wouldn't build just anything;

And if I was a ball player,

I wouldn't play no second string.

And if I were some jew'lry, baby;

Lord, I'd have to be a diamond ring.



If I were a secret, Lord, I never would be told.

If I were a jug of wine, Lord, my flavor would be old.

I could be most anything,

But it got to be twenty-four karat solid gold, oh.



If I were a gambler, You know I'd never lose,

And if I were a guitar player,

Lord, I'd have to play the blues.



If I was a hacksaw, My blade would be razor sharp.

If I were a politician, I could prove that monkeys talk.

You can find the tallest building,

Lord, I'd have me the house on top.



Oh, let's go!

All right, keep goin'!



I'm the Penthouse Pauper;

I got nothin' to my name.

I'm the Penthouse Pauper; baby,

I got nothing to my name.

I can be most anything,

'Cause when you got nothin' it's all the same.



Oh, let's move to this song!

Lord, look at my penthouse.