Just when I thought everything would be okay

Just when I started to believe that everything was going my way

Out came the cloud from under my feet

Crashing back down to reality

You used to call me pumpkin now I'm Halloween

Remember when I used to be your jelly bean

You used to call me schnookums and shit like that

Now you're after me with a baseball bat



I remember when I used to be the king

Your honey sweety darling baby everything

I used to be your tall dark mystery man

Now I'm just straight up history man



Just when I thought everything would be alright

Just when I started to believe that everything was out of sight

You left me with nothing but a scribbled note

That said I would no longer be your love boat

From here on out my pet name would be X

Your X your X your X



It used to be sugar then it turned into salt

I used to rock your world now I'm standing on a fault line

Lying naked in a hail storm in the dark

You're my little tornado and I am your trailer park

You used to call me names too cute to repeat

Like honey bunch hairy bear and piccolo peet

Goochy goochy goo gaga shit like that

Now you're after me screaming you dirty rat



I don't remember applying for a name change

So why is it you're calling me Mister Deranged

Psycopathic pornographic stinking drunk

Failing fast lying ass worthless punk



You used to call me sweety pie and baby doll

I guess another stud's kicking in my stall

You'll probably call him superman or loverboy

You'll probably disregard him like a broken toy



Just when he thought everything was going his way

Just when he started to believe that everything was hunky dory

He'll look at that cloud that he's standing on

And with an itsy bitsy teeny little almost inaudible squeak

He'll notice

It's gone



From here on out his pet name would be X

Your X your X your X



Sweety pie?

No X

Honey bunch?

No X

Bubble butt?

No X

Pumpkin face