Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening

And you're stuck inside the house all alone

That's when you decided it might be fun to harass someone

Dial a random number up on your telephone

You ask if their refrigerator is running

Then you tell 'em they should go out and catch it

Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin' 'em from

They'd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet

Listen to me

Don't go makin' phony calls

Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to

I know that you think it's funny drivin' folks up the wall

But it's really gettin' old fast



Little Melvin has a natural obsession

Askin' for Prince Albert in a can

He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call

To some guy he doesn't know who lives in Japan

He's callin' strangers up at three in the morning

Gives 'em pizza pie delivery at four

He won't be laughin when they're tracin' his line

One day the phone police will be there at his door

Yo, hear me



Don't go makin' phony calls

Only dial the seven-digit numbers you're used to

Swear someday I'm gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall

How long is this phase gonna last?

Come on



Moe's bar, what'll ya eat, beat or drink?

Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there? Last name Rotch.

Hold on. I'll check. Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?

Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!



Don't go makin' phony calls

Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to

You went through the New York City phone book and prank called 'em all

Hope that you grow out of this fast



Dont' go makin' phony calls,

Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you're used to

Betcha think it's funny when you're drivin' folks right up the wall

But you're just a pain in the aaa....