Now this may sound disgusting an' like very gross

But it's sure to have your trippin'

So y'all listen close

It's not bright as the sun or sweet like sugar

But it's rather on the bug tip and it's called Pickin' Boogers

Now what I'm emceein' might not seem kosher to you

But it's still somethin' we all have to do

So go up your nose with a finger or two

And pull out one or a crusty crew

Yo, don't try to front like it's so gloomy and gray

'Cause we all pick our boogers sometime every day

Whether out in the open or on a sneak tip

With a finger, tissue, or even a Q-Tip

Take it from the Biz Markie because I'm jokin'

And also, remember this slogan

"Hey, ma, what's for dinner?

Go up your nose and pick yourself a winner"

Pickin' Boogers

Pickin' Boogers

Let me tell you what happened on the train, man

I was coolin' one say with my partner Kane

Headed up to the rooftop, ridin' the D train

When the man sittin' next to me was so profane

He'd stick his finger up his nose, then do a drain

(You should 'a moved)

I was just about, but al of a suddern, homeboy just pulled out

A big, green, slimey - naw, I'm not even gonna say it

But it weighed a good pound if you tried to weigh it

He sat there for a while with it in his hand

So I tried to play cool like a normal man

So I laid my head back to catch a quick nap

All of a sudden he plucked it dead in my lap

Now Kane sat there laughin' like it was all a joke

But a brother like Biz Markie had almost choked

So I dug up my nose and pulled out about five

And plucked every last one of them dead in his eye

Then the man jumped up and said what's wrong with you

And wiped 'em off his face and said I can't mess with you

Like if I did somethin' that was so full of shame

But yo, you got to know the name of the game

Pickin' Boogers

Pickin' Boogers

Now let me take you trippin' dow memory lane

Back in public school with my partner Kane

When I was class clown and he was my brotherr

Sittin' at the desk, pluckin' boogers at each other

Never do our work as we were supposed

'Cause we was too busy diggin' up our nose

And in the lunch room, we would talk about rude

God forbid the person that had to leave his food

No matter who you are, we didn't give a damn

We even put teachers down with the program

Whether it was a woman or if you're a man

We put boogers in our fingers then shake your hand

Catch anyone from anywhere

But the best part about it's catchin' Kane out there

Especially we're out playin' ball in the gym

I put boogers on the basketball and pass it to him

Now we're grown up and things have changed

But we still be playin' the Pickin' Boogers game

Just last night when Kane was gettin' ready

I slippped a litte green one inside his spaghetti

Pickin' Boogers

Pickin' Boogers

Let me tell you what happened with this girl

One night at Latin Quarters, I was standin' at ease

And saw a gorgeous yound lady that I wanted to skeeze

I didn't show enough that I really did want it

So, no half-steppin', I pushed up on it

Pulled out the gold cable and a knot that was fat

Had a spotlight beamin' on my Biz Markie hat

But when she stepped in the light and she got real close

I saw a teeny-weenie booger on the tip of her nose

She was dressed real def and her body was hook

But that dried-up boogeer just ruined the look

I wanted to tell her about it but I couldn't be bold

So I played it off and said, "That's a cute green mole"

I was hopin' from that she wuld wipe it away

But she didn't do nothin', I guess she wanted it displayed

I said, "Before you get my number I don't mean to dis you

but write it in your hand because you're gonna need the tissue