PLASTIC JESUS (2)



Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,

Long as I have my plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car

Through all trials and tribulations,

We will travel every nation,

With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.



cho: Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car

Through all trials and tribulations,

We will travel every nation,

With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.



I don't care if it's dark or scary,

Long as I have magnetic Mary,

Ridin' on the dashboard of my car,

I feel I'm protected amply,

I've got the whole damn Holy Family,

Riding on the dashboard of my car.



No, I don't care if it rains or freezes,

Long as I have my plastic Jesus,

Riding on the dashboard of my car,

But I think he'll have to go,

His magnet ruins my radio,

And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar.



I don't care if it bumps or jostles

Long as I got the Twelve Apostles

Bolted to the dashboard of my car

Don't I have a pious mess

Such a crowd of holiness

Strung across the dashboard of my car



God made Christ a Holy Jew

God made Him a Christian too

Paradoxes populate my car

Joseph beams with a feigned elan

From the shaggy dash of my furlined van

Famous cuckold in the master plan;



Naughty Mary, smug and smiling,

Jesus dainty and beguiling

Knee-deep in the piling of my van;

His message clear by night or day

My phosphorescent plastic Gay

Simpering from the dashboard of my van.



When I'm goin' fornicatin'

I got my ceramic Satan

Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home

The women know I'm on the level

Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil

Ridin' on the dashboard of my ...

Sneerin' from the dashboard of my ...

Leering from the dashboard of my van.



If I weave around at night

And the police think I'm tight,

They'll never find my bottle, though they ask;

plastic Jesus shelters me,

For His head comes off, you see--

He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask.



Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus

Riding on the dashboard of my car:

Ride with me and have a dram,

Of the blood of the Lamb,

Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.



@religion

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