Hello sir, remember me?

Im the man you thought Id never be.

The boy who you reduced to tears,

The lad called "thingy" for six whole years.

Yeah thats right, my names bob,

The one who landed the popstars job.

The one who you told: "look dont touch"

The kid who wouldny amount to much.

Well Im here, and youre still there

With your fake sports car and receding hair

Dodgy, farout trousers that you think are smart

Married to the woman that teaches art

Married to the life

Married to the school

"i want to sing and dance sir"

Now whos the fool?

Sing and dance, you thought I was barmy

"settle down thingy, join the army"

And who were you to tell me this

The dream I want Ill have to miss

Sir is god, hes been given the right

To structure lives overnight.

Now I know lifes true path,

Tanks and guns, thatll be a laugh.

Nah, not me, Im a mega civillian

I wont leave my life riding pillion

But thanks for the advice and Im sure itll do

For the negitive dickheads just like you.

As for now the different weapon

Stage and screen is about to beckon

And here I sit in first class

Bollocks sir, kiss my ass.