Now listen up you know ya come home from working that nine to five and lay

yourself down on burgundy couch, you know, it never really was burgundy.

It was red, and you painted with the goddamn sprinkler and now you have

bits and pieces of burgundy stuck to your butt every time you get off of

it. You never tell your family, you never tell your family because, you

know, ol' Junior, he's got no brains, and what can you do? What can you

do?



CHORUS

Grab yourself a can of pork soda

You'll be feeling just fine

Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house

Swillin' down them Kansas wine



Ha ha ha! Yes, Dad's an idiot alright!



Well, alright, I'm really starting to worry about you. You had to have

that two-car garage with the large driveway so you could park that goddamn

boat in it. If it wasn't for the boat (blah blah blah).



CHORUS



I like Kansas wine...



Well, maybe it's something simpler, like your team lost or your girlfriend

used to be a guy, you know, I don't know. I mean...(blah blah blah)

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