IF I HAD A HAMMER

I'D WAKE UP MY NEIGHBORS

POUNDING OUT A RHYTHM

ALL ABOUT YOU

IF I HAD A PENCIL

I'D PUSH ME SOME PAPER

I'D BUILD A SKYSCRAPER

TO GET CLOSE TO YOU

IF I HAD A LASSO

I'D SAIL OUT THE WINDOW

AND LAND ON AN ISLAND

NEXT TO YOU

IF I HAD A HOT ROD

I'D FASTEN UP MY SEATBELT

AND BREAK THE SPEED LIMIT

GETTIN' TO YOU

BUT I AIN'T GOT A HAMMER

AND I AIN'T GOT A PENCIL

AND I AIN'T GOT A LASSO

SO I'M DOING IT THE HARD WAY

LIKE A POST POST-MODERN MAN

IF I HAD A CREDIT CARD

I'D CLEAR ME A PATHWAY

THROUGH THE DEEPEST JUNGLE

RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR

IF I HAD A CAMERA

I'D SNAP AWAY MY FINGERS

AND COLLECT UP THE PICTURES

OF YOU OF COURSE

BUT I AIN'T GOT A HOT ROD

AND I AIN'T GOT A CREDIT CARD

NO CHANCE FOR A CAMERA

SO I'M DOING IT THE HARD WAY

LIKE A POST POST-MODERN MAN

WELL I AIN'T GOT A HAMMER

AND I AIN'T GOT A LASSO

NO CHANCE FOR A CAMERA

SO I'M DOING IT THE HARD WAY