I am the preacher, I'm on TV

God has cable and he is watching me

Tune in on Sunday mornings at then

I can save you if you just send in:



Five hundred dollars to save a single soul

It doesn't really matter if you're young or if you're old

We need all the money to fight the holy war

So if you are a sinner, well, you'd better send some more



I am the preacher's wife, I am looking fine

cause God loves me--I'm younger all the time

These diamonds and pearls, they came from above

And you will feel the love, write to us care of:





Five hundred dollars to save a single soul

It doesn't really matter if you're young or if you're old

We need all the money to buy the holy wine

So if you are a sinner, well, you'd better not waste time



I am the new age guru of the day

I can heal you with everything I say

Come to the center, buy my video

Join the family, come on, let go!



Of five hundred dollars to save a single soul

It doesn't really matter if you're young or if you're old

You need to give the money to find your inner peace

And you will reach enlightenment within eleven weeks