What do

Crystal Gayle

Dorothy Hamill

Don King

Lyle Lovett

and Gloria Steinem have in common



They are Prisoners of Their Hairdos

Prisoners of Their Hair

If they changed the way they combed their hair

They'd never be recognized anywhere

They're prisoners



What do

Stevie Nicks

Leon Redbone

Pee Wee Herman

Tom Wolfe

and Pope John Paul have in common



They are prisoners of their wardrobes

Prisoners of their clothes

If they changed the outfits that they wear

Nobody would stop and stare

They're prisoners



It's a little tragic, it's a little weird

ZZ Top are prisoners of their beards

Imagine them weightless in outerspace

Beards and shades flyin' all over the place



Don't worry, that'll never happen, except maybe in a music video



There's a very fine line

Between a groove and rut

Fine line between eccentrics

And people who are just plain nuts

Aw but why should I concern myself

With such superficial fare

'Cause I'm a prisoner of these stupid thoughts

Which is worse than being a prisoner of my haaaaair do



I wonder if Crystal Gayle has ever had a bad dream about being trapped with Ted Koppel,

and Mary Travers. Being chased by a wild pack of sissors toward a swimming pool filled with

Nair. Oh my gawd what a nightmare that would be for Crystal Gayle.

Wake up Crystal Gayle.

Wake up.



Oh no, here comes Dolly Parton. What is she doing in this song?

She's only a prisoner of a wig.

Get out of here Dolly, you don't belong.

No offense.



Oh my goodness! It's the B-52's.

They're not prisoners of