PROMINENT BAR IN SECAUCUS



In a prominent bar in Secaucus one day

Rose a lady in skunk with a top-heavy sway

Raised a knobby red finger - all turned from their beer -

While with eyes bright as snowcrust she sang high and clear



Now who of you'd think from an eyeload of me

That I once was a lady as proud as can be?

Oh I'd never sit down by a tumble-down drunk

If it wasn't, my dears, for the high cost of junk.



All the gents used to swear that the white of my calf

Beat the down of a swan by a length and a half

In the kerchief of linen I caught to my nose

Ah, there never fell snot, but a little gold rose.



I had seven gold teeth and a toothpick of gold

My Virginia cheroot with a leaf it was rolled

And I'd light it each time with a thousand in cash

Why the bums used to fight if I flicked them an ash



Once the toast of the Biltmore, the belle of the Taft

I would drink bottle beer at the Drake, never draft

And dine at the Astor on Salisbury Steak

With a clean table cloth for each bite I would take



In a car like the roxy, I'd roll to the track

A steel-guitar trio, a bar in the back

And the wheels made no noise, they turned ever so fast

Still it took you ten minutes to see me go past



When the horses bowed down to me that I might choose

I bet on them all for I hated to lose

Now I'm saddle each night for my butter and eggs

And the broken threads race down the backs of my legs



Let you hold in mind girls that your beauty must pass

Like a lovely white clover that rusts with its grass

Keep your bottoms off bar stools and marry your young

Or be left - an old barrel with many a bung



For when time takes you out for a spin in his car

You'll be hard-pressed to stop him from going too far

And be left by the roadside, for all your good deeds

Two toadstools for tits and a face full of weeds



All the house raised a cheer, but the man at the bar

Made a phone call and up pulled a red patrol car

And she blew us a kiss as the copped her away

From that prominent bar in Secaucus NJ



@age @drink

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