PUBLIC BAR



Early one evening

Just as the pubs were opening

A traveler was walking down

A cold and windy street

He saw a door ajar

He stepped in a public bar

Said, Landlord, I would like a drink

And something good to eat



I fancy some crusty bread

And roast beef of old England

Some fresh butter from the churn

A pickled onion too

And if you think you could

Draw some bitter from the wood

I'd be quite content to quaff

A gentle pint or two

I'll sit down by your pine log fire

And ponder on the infinite

The quiet of your hostelry

Shall seep into my heart

And if a regular

Should come into the bar

Maybe I'll entice him in

A contest of the dart



Come in, says the landlord, I've got

Pre-packed beef paste sandwiches

Have some frozen sausages

Which I purchase by the ton

So if you fancy it

I could defrost a bit

And serve it up with ketchup

On a supermarket bun



I'll pour you a plastic pot

Of quaint old English ready-brew

As advertised on telly

By a famous rugby scrum

No dirty wooden barrels here

We only keep hygienic beer

Safely sterilized inside

This aluminium drum



So sit down by the pine log fire

I'll switch the logs on presently

Maybe you would like to try

My brand new fruit machine

Three cherries in a row

Will set your heart aglow

My jukebox plays some rock and roll

That will really set the scene



So the traveler sat down beside

The polystyrene inglenook

Plastic beads were swaying

To an electronic sound

He started to bite and chew

He took a sip of ready-brew

He gave a ghastly gurgle

And fell dead upon the ground



O dear, says the landlord

As he switched the color telly on

Another fatal accident

The third this week, I fear

If they cannot hold their own

Why can't they stay at home

I must say that we get some funny

Customers in here



@drink

sung by Roy Harris

filename[ PUBLIBAR

SF

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