If I had forever

I would live this silence

I would feed this disease

Of which you are the cause

You are the cure

So hated and yet so sought

Penetrating my everything

I thought I did

I thought I would

Be able to put this off forever

But now as my time fades away



It seems a new reality hits

And the insured tomorrow is not a constant for me

With this impending death

I admit to myself

With me shall die my petty dreams



The blood washes off and yet the shame prevails

Tearing from the eyesockets the tellers of this tale



To die with nothing

Is a choice I've made

To derpive myself

Not telling you

Just how I live through this

Never will you hear my confessions

Like the obsession that was born of crayons and toys

And shall die with me today



The blood washes off and yet the shame prevails

Tearing from the eyesockets the tellers of this tale



It's untold



And now this loathesome beast

This would've-could've-should've spectre

Will crawl into my deathbed

And I shall smell it's foul breath

My death will pain me tenfold

Because no one will know

To hell with the spent years

and fuck the shed tears

I'll burn the books and sketches

But my guilt will keep knocking



Knocking



Knocking on my bedroom door