Was I wrong? Wrong in assuming

That nothing at all, without thought

Would just fall into place?

Was it hope, that something would change me

That led me to see the mistakes

That had gutted my frame?



Was it strength, yearning for purpose?

Or weakness just desperately searching

For something to fix?

To create, from self-induced ruin

To try and rebuild what remains from

What I have destroyed



Why'd I make it so hard?

So quick to doubt?

So ready to fuck myself over...



Was it truth, logic or reason

Disappointment of fear that led me

To question all things

Far beneath self-induced wreckage

I rest in pathetic assurance

That failure is safe



Why'd I make it so hard?

So quick to doubt?

So ready to fuck myself again...



Was I wrong? Wrong in assuming

That nothing at all, without thought

Would just fall into place?

Was it hope, that something would change me

That led me to see the mistakes

That had gutted my frame?



Why'd I make it so hard?

So quick to doubt?

So ready to fuck myself over

So ready to fuck myself again...