May I have your attention please,

May I have your attention please,

Will the real Slim Santa please stand up.

I repeat will the real Slim Santa please stand up.

We're gonna have a problem here.



You all act like you've never seen Santa before,

Toys all over your floor, who the hell ya think brought them?

It wasn't your drunk dad or your mother that whore,

It was me and now I'm skinny and I'll tell you the score.

Its the return of Christmas but not the jolly fat elf,

my ass got so big I couldn't wipe it myself.

My doctor said,