Alrighty then... picture this if you will...

Time to de-wrap that chili dog
Eat a box of krispy kremes
We've ID'd an air pollutant [indiscernable] area 51
Contemplating the whole truth
Of people thinking we just took a flaming
Stale banana split the sky light, well
One opened up we'd expect to see a place like this
Code red i'll put us in a diamond setting
Right on my birkenstocks in the open
Holy fucking shit... holy fucking shit...

Let the x-file be entered
As some kind of blue creature
[indiscernable]
If you look at your appearance for a moment you can see
Another banana bourbon enema
Someone hovered above my buckeyes
My daily chore
Maybe i'll run over the upper lip but all i could think was
[indiscernable] fucking cats

The sewer line is waiting
Like an apparition he had me crying out
Fuck me! sodomy!
A dead head chemistry! bladder problems won't stifle me!
If i can't make it, people who are watching see.

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some needle spooning
He revealed to me a singular purpose, he said, you are the chosen one
The one who will deliver the message
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
And a warning for those who do not
Me, the chosen one... they chose me
And i didn't graduate from fucking high school

Shit the bed
Shit better
You better
You better listen

He looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means, must remember to write it down
This is so real,
Like the time that he floated away
See my heart is pounding
Cause this shit never happens to me
Can't breathe right now, it was so real
Like i woke up in wonderland
Also a bit terrifying
I don't want to be all alone when i tell this story
And can anyone tell me why? [indiscernable]
Will i ever be coming down?
This is so real, finally it's my lucky day
See my heart is racing
Cause this shit never happens to me

Can't breathe right now

You believe me don't you, please believe what i just said
See they're telling true and... and this wasn't all in my head
So they took me by the hand and invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin
Strapped down to my bed,
Feet cold and eyes red,
I'm out of my head,
Am i alive am i dead,
Can't remember what they said
God damn shit the bed
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and read to all
The details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see
But i forgot my pen, shit the bed again
Typical
Strapped down to my bed,
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am i alive am i dead,
Sunkist and Sudafed, gyroscopes, and infrared won't help
Brain dead, can't remember what they said
God damn shit the bed
I can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to me
Made out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said

[indiscernable] oh no
God damn shit the bed