Slick Nick stole a reindeer from the Zoo

Fell down my chimney with a keg of brew

Put my dog out in the cold

Ripped off the candy from my socks

Smokin' coal and drinkin' Scotch



Slick Nick you devil you

(Devil you, devil you)

Slick Nick you devil you

(Devil you, devil you)



Dressed in red and overweight boot

Stole the TV and the stereo

And the toys

The toys were broken too



You devil you

Slick Nick you devil you



I saw Slick Nick fall over the X-mas tree

He was a Whole different man from

What mom and dad told me

Spillin' Jack Daniels all over the drapes

Spray-painting a bad finger over the fireplace

Tatoos on his arms and knees

I never thought Santa Claus Would be such a sleaze ! But...



Slick Nick you devil you...



Cussin' and coppin' and playin' punk-rock

And every once in a while you'd just scratch your jock

Hey ! Slick Nick, where are my toys ?

You went drinking with the boys

You put Mad Dog in my sock

I wanted candy (x3)

Oh, Oh ! I thought you were my buddy and chum

But you're just a downtown bum

Instead of putting presents in front of my eyes

You just told me a bunch of lies...



Slick Nick you devil you...

Santa Claus... Huh !