Let me tell you a story about scary ned

Scariest guy to ever wet a bed

He had hands on his arms and eyes on his head

But they weren't his



He'd go down to the market and try to scare the fish

He said that they bothered him, they weren't his favorite dish

Then he'd go down to the highway and pretend that he was dead

That just the way he was, creepy scary ned



Ooohh oohhhhh scary ned



Ned loved halloween cuz he didn't need a mask

He'd steal the children's candy, he didn't even ask

He'd sit right down in front of them and then he'd start to eat

He'd tell them they were better off cuz that stuff can rot your teeth



Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh scary ned



A strange glow would come from his place late into the night

He'd watch t.v. 'til the dawn, you know that ain't right

If he started to get tired he'd rub sauerkraut on his head

That's just the kind of guy he was, good old scary ned



Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh scary ned



He had a face his mother didn't love

When people saw on the street they often said "uughh!"

Sometimes late at night he'd walk alone

He'd be reciting stuff

Bad sounding stuff

Icky awful stuff

But when you got to know him, he weren't so bad



Ooohh oohhhhh scary ned

Ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh ooohh oohhhhh scary ned



Ooohh oohhhhh scary ned [this repeats to end over talking- k]

He's pretty scary

Scary ned

Really scary

Scary ned

He's scary

Hence the name

Scary ned

I saw him yesterday

He said "hi"

I got scared

'cause he's

Scary ned

If he weren't scary

I supposed he'd be called

Like, happy ned

And who wants to hear a song about

Happy ned (happy ned)