One day, I will build a fountain - drink and never grow old

Then I'll market an elixir that will eliminate the common cold

Find your sickness on my list, pay up-front and make a wish



One day I will work with animals, (incomplete)

All my stuff's completely natural, and when we're done we'll boil 'em down

for glue

we can use to re-adhere your lips to mine if you were here



Chorus:

There's a lot I will never do

Some fantastic, I know it's true

But not as much as my want to be with you



I can't stand to be in line long, so I built a new machine

It just measures up the distance, and then eliminates the folks between

One day I'll construct a satellite, and I'll name it after you

'Cause you are the greatest friend of all, except for when you split my lip

in two



To see the look upon your face as I launch you into space



(Chorus)



Bye bye, self-respect

I haven't had much of it since you left

I missed out on the best of you



Some day I will find the secret to your social chemistry

Then I'll print it on a T-shirt, and it'll make you wanna be with me

And if I wear it past your work, you'll see other guys are jerks

Much like pheremones for flies, you will not avoid my eyes



(Chorus)



Bye bye, self-respect

I haven't had much of it since you left

I missed out on the best of you



(x2)



Bye bye (repeated