by Donovan Leitch of the album Cosmic Wheels, 1973)

I was impressed like everyone when man began to fly

out of earthly regions to planets in the sky

with total media coverage we watched the heroes land

as ceremoniously they disturbed the cosmic sand



I awe with admiration we listened to the talk

such pride felt they, such joy to be upon the moon to walk

my romantic vision shattered when it was explained to me

spacemen wear old diapers in which they shit and pee



chorus:



oh the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there

relieve you and believe me without a worry or care

if shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars

the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to mars



they don't partake like you and I of beefy burger mush

their food is specially prepared to dissolve into slush

absorbed my multi-fibres in the super diaper suit

otherwise the slush would trickle down inside the boot



you may well ask now what becomes of liquid they consume

a pipe is led from penis head to a unit in the room

the water is recirculated, filtered for re-use

in case of anti-gravity, pee gets on the loose



wherever man has conquered on the quest for frontiers new

I'm glad he's always had to do the no. one and two

it makes it all so ordinary just like you and me

to know the greatest heroes they had to shit and pee!