Dear slim, i wrote you but you still aint callin

I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom

I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not of got em

There was probably a problem at the post office or somethin

Sometimes i scribble addresses too sloppy when i jot 'em

But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, hows your daughter?

My girlfriend's pregnant too, i'm 'bout to be a father

If i have a daughter, guess what ima call her?ima name her

Bonnie...

I read about your uncle ronnie too i'm sorry

I had a friend kill himself over a bitch who didn't want him

I know you probably hear this everyday but i'm your biggest fan

I even got the underground shit that you did with scam

I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man

I like the shit you did with rawkus too that shit was phat

Anyways i hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat

Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is stan



Dear slim, you still haven't called or wrote, i hope you have a chance

I ain't mad, i just think its fucked up that you dont answer fans

If you didn't wanna talk to me outside of the concert

You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for matthew

That's my little brother, he's only six years old

We waited in the blisterin' cold for you, for 4 hours and you just said no

Thats pretty shitty man you're like his fuckin idol

He wants to be just like you man he likes you more than i do

I ain't that mad though i just dont like being lied to

Remember when we met in demburg, you said if i write you

You would write back, see i'm just like you in a way

I never knew my father neither, he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her

I can relate to what you're sayin in your songs

So when i have a shitty day, i ripped away and put 'em on

Cuz i dont really got shit else so that shit helps when i'm depressed

I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest

Sometimes i used to cut myself to see how much it bleeds

It's like adrenaline, but pain is such a sudden rush for me

And everything you say is real, and i respect you cuz you tell it

My girlfriend's jealous cuz i talk about you 24/7

But she don't know you like i know you slim, no one does

She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up

You gotta call me man, i'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose

Sincerely yours, stan, ps: we should be together too



Dear mr. i'm-too-good-to-call-or-write-my-fans

This'll be the last package i ever send your ass

It's been 6 months and still no word, i don't deserve it?

I know you got my last two letters, i wrote the addresses on 'em perfect

So this is my cassette i'm sendin' you, i hope you hear it

I'm in the car right now, i'm doin' 90 on the freeway

Hey slim, i drank a 5th of vodka, dare me to drive?

You know that song by bill collins 'in the air in the night'

Where that guy coulda saved that other guy from drownin'

But didn't, then bill saw it all and at a show he found him

That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued my from drownin'

Now its too late, i'm on a 1000 downers now i'm drowsy

And all i wanted was a lousy letter or a call

I hope you know i ripped all of your pictures off the wall

I love you slim, we coulda been together, think about it

You ruined it now, i hope you can't sleep and you dream about it

And when you dream i hope you can't sleep and you scream about it

I hope your conscience eats through you and you can't breathe without me

See slim....shut up bitch i'm tryin to talk

Hey slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk

But i didn't slit her throat, i just tied her up, see i ain't like you

Cuz if she suffocates then she'll suffer more and then she'll die too

Well, gotta go, i'm almost at the bridge now

Oh shit, i forgot, how'm i supposed to send this shit out?



Dear stan, i meant to write you sooner but i just been busy

You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?

Look, i'm really flattered that you would call your daughter that

And here's an autograph for your brother, i wrote it on a starter cap

I'm sorry i didn't see you at the show, i musta missed you

Don't think that i did that shit intentionally just to diss you

But what's this shit about you said you like to cut your wrist too?

I say that shit just clownin dog, come on, how'd 'fuck' convince you?

You got some issues stan i think you need some counselin'

To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get downsome

And what's this shit about us meant to be together

That type of shit will not make me want to meet eachother

I really think you and your girlfriend need eachother

Or maybe you just need to treat her betteri hope you get to read this letter

I just hope it reaches you in time

Before you hurt yourself, i think you'll be doin just fine

If you relax a little, i'm glad i inspire you, but stan..

Why you so mad, try to understand i do want you as a fan

I just dont want you to do some crazy shit

I saw this one shit on the news a few weeks ago that made me sick

Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge

And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid

And in the car they found a tape but it didnt say who it was

Come to think about it...the name was...it was you.stan.