Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still aint callin / I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom / I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not of got em / There was probably a problem at the post office or somethin / Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em / But anyways, fuck it, what's been up, hows your daughter? / My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father / If I have a daughter, Guess what Ima call her? /Ima name her Bonnie... / I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry / I had a friend kill himself over a bitch who didn't want him / I know you probably hear this everyday but I'm your biggest fan / I even got the underground shit that you did with Scam / I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man / I like the shit you did with Rawkus too that shit was phat / Anyways I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat / Truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan / Dear Slim, you still haven't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance / I ain't mad, I just think its fucked up that you dont answer fans / If you didn't wanna talk to me outside of the concert / You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew / That's my little brother, he's only six years old / We waited in the blisterin' cold for you, for 4 hours and you just said no / Thats pretty shitty man you're like his fuckin idol / He wants to be just like you man he likes you more than I do / I ain't that mad though I just dont like being lied to / Remember when we met in Denver, you said if I write you / You would write back, see I'm just like you in a way / I never knew my father neither, he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her / I can relate to what you're sayin in your songs / So when I have a shitty day, I ripped away and put 'em on / Cuz I dont really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed / I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest / Sometimes I used to cut myself to see how much it bleeds / It's like adrenaline, but pain is such a sudden rush for me / And everything you say is real, and I respect you cuz you tell it / My girlfriend's jealous cuz I talk about you 24/7 / But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does / She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up / You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose / Sincerely yours, Stan, PS: We should be together too / Dear Mr. I'm-too-good-to-call-or-write-my-fans / This'll be the last package I ever send your ass / It's been 6 months and still no word, I don't deserve it? / I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect / So this is my cassette I'm sendin' you, I hope you hear it / I'm in the car right now, I'm doin' 90 on the freeway / Hey Slim, I drank a 5th of Vodka, dare me to drive? / You know that song by Bill Collins 'In The Air in Tonight' / Where that guy coulda saved that other guy from drownin' / But didn't, then Bill saw it all and at a show he found him / That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued my from drownin' / Now its too late, I'm on a 1000 downers now I'm drowsy / And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call / I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall / I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it / You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it / And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it / I hope your conscience eats through you and you can't breathe without me / See Slim....Shut up bitch I'm tryin to talk / Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk / But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you / Cuz if she suffocates then she'll suffer more and then she'll die too / Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now / OH shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out? / Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy / You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she? / Look, I'm really flattered that you would call your daughter that / And here's an autograph for your brother, I wrote it on a Starter Cap / I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you / Don't think that I did that shit intentionally just to diss you / But what's this shit about you said you like to cut your wrist too? / I say >that shit just clownin dog, come on, how fucked up is you? / You got some issues Stan I think you need some counselin' / To help your ass from bouncin' off the walls when you get downsome/ And what's this shit about us meant to be together / That type of shit will not make me want to meet eachother / I really think you and your girlfriend need eachother / Or maybe you just need to treat her better /I hope you get to read this letter / I just hope it reaches you in time / Before you hurt yourself, I think you'll be doin just fine / If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you, but Stan.. / Why you so mad, try to understand I do want you as a fan / I just dont want you to do some crazy shit / I saw this one shit on the news a few weeks ago that made me sick / Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge / And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid / And in the car they found a tape but it didnt say who it was / Come to think about it...the name was...it was you.Damn