With 800 pounds on 18 wheels

After 800 miles you know how it feels

To have your rear so numb you gotta poke it

To see if it's still there

Well it's one more load to one more town

Only problem is they're all starting to sound a bit similar

Lord knows they all look the same

So I got some hot coffee in Furnace Creek

Abut the trouble is I was never neat and I spilled it

And my map and phonebook were a blur

But I had a girl and a job to do

Or was that job and a girl to do?

I don't know - I had to go and my velvet interior was a soggy mess

I think I got a girl named Mary down in Susanville

Waitin' for me to come home and make her my wife

I know I got a load of somethin' goin' to somewhereville

But I can't remember which to save to save my life

With a load to Mr. Johnson in Watsoville

Or is that a load to Mr. Watson in Johnsonville?

Well, anyway, after several days I don't know what or if it mattered

Just a load of placer to Cedarville, or a load of cedar to Placerville

Or a container full of things up to Diamond Springs for an indoor swapmeet

Is that a cargo of hay south to Northfork, Some plastic forks north to Hayfork,

Or a bunch of men's nugget watches straight through to Pixley,

Or Apple Jacks down to Fall River Mills or honor snacks up to Downieville?

Well, the white girls are cute that I've met in Blackbute,

But I'll stick to the road and finish my beer and coffee

Now I am marrying Jan from Susanville

Or am I suing Jane from Mary'sville?

Cause if I am I better call Ernie my attorney from Burney Falls

Well, all I know is if I recall-

She had the longest legs and she was kinda tall

And prettier than a catfish

With its nose up against the dam

Without