William's my friend; he'll never change

he's my friend the outlaw at home on the range

He wears his hair long in a neat ponytail

To prove he's still searching for sweet holy grail

He has wise blood; I hear it travel his veins

His heart beats in Texas all wrapped up in chains

And when he's home he must be what he seems

But when he's with me he plays for the other team



And I've seen him play; everyone's his best friend

Out of sight, out of mind; love letters never sent

And when he's home his dance card is full

But when he's with me he plays by his own rules



William, run home--go wash your face

Run away home; touch every base

Run away home. But, William, don't stay

'Cause, William, I love to watch while you play

And when you're home they won't let you fail

They'll send you off searching for sweet holy grail