I came down to the breakfast table

felt like I could die

Tried so hard but wasn't able

to look you in the eye



For i'm feeling so much shame

yes i have brought disgrace

i can tell i've soiled my good name

by the look upon your face



Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it

No use denyin it I was really crankin it

Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad

If you could just forgive me and talk to me, dad

talk to me dad



I didn't hear ya enter, no I didn't hear the door

with my hand upon my member and my pants upon the floor

Now burnt into your brain is an image you dispise

like blood and guts and starvin kids and Stevie Wonder's eyes



Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it

No use denyin it I was really crankin it

Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad

but I wouldn't use those tissues

They've already been had

Talk to me dad



The look upon your face made my swollen gland diminish

So I said, "Could ya close the door? I really wanna finish"

Now daddy I'm ashamed and I'd completely understand

If you never wanna hug again or even shake my hand



Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it

No use denyin it I was really crankin it

Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad

Just because it was your bed

It's not that bad



When I was only seventeen, you told me it was dirty, so

it must be really creepy when your kid is pushin thirty

But you cannot tell me dad that you have never had a whack

At the thing that hangs below your belt and bumps into your sack



Well it seems last night you caught me spankin it

No use denyin it I was really crankin it

Well Dry your eyes don't be so sad

But I wouldn't use those tissues they've already been-

just because it was your bed

it's not that-

now daddy daddy please forgive me and talk to me dad

talk to me dad